Coming out of the Closet and Coming Home

Author: ettie.v

Author Location: Germiston, South Africa

I used to believe I would never come out.

I remember reading “God and the Gay Christian” by Matthew Vines, sitting in the quiet of my room, heart pounding with every turn of the page. Near the end, he encourages those still in the closet to take the step and come out — to live openly and honestly. I remember shaking my head, almost bitterly thinking: “Buddy – you don’t know my life. There’s no way I can ever come out.” It felt like a closed door, sealed with fear and guarded by the unrelenting judgment of others.

Now, two years into living out of the closet, I look back and realize it was the best decision I ever made.

Let me be honest — coming out didn’t usher in a fairy tale. Some doors closed. Many friends walked away. The grief of that loss is real. But what came in their place was something unexpected and beautiful: new friendships built on truth, on acceptance, on love, that doesn’t flinch at honesty. I found people who embraced me for who I actually am — not for the masked version I’d carefully designed to survive in the Christian circles I lived and worked in.

Coming out set me free in ways I never imagined. I’ve discovered parts of myself I had locked away for years. I’ve learned to love intimately and to be loved in return—not just romantically, but wholly, by a community of believers who reflect God’s embrace back at me. I see now that God wasn’t closing me off — He was calling me out. Not into shame, but into light. Not into isolation, but into belonging.

But I want to be clear: coming out is not always easy. And for some the price is great! Coming out carries the weight of risk. The risk and fear of rejection by family and friends can be paralyzing. For many of us, especially those raised in conservative churches or homes, no place ever felt safe — not even our own childhood homes. I spent all of my teenage years and young adulthood wrestling with my sexuality in silence. I never dared to speak the truth, not even to my parents and best friends.

That’s why we created All R Called. We want to be that safe space for others, that we never had. A place where you don’t have to pretend. Where your story is sacred, your journey honored, and your identity celebrated as part of God’s divine design. Here, being LGBTQ+ and Christian is not a contradiction. It’s a calling — a bold, beautiful way of glorifying Jesus with your whole self.

If you’ve been hiding in the dark, carrying the weight alone, hear me: you are not alone. You don’t have to make a grand announcement or come out to your entire world tomorrow. Maybe your first step is as simple as sending us a message. Tell us your name. Tell us your story. Come out anonymously to a stranger who will hold your words gently. We’re here. And we’re listening.

No one should ever be forced to come out. It is a sacred decision, one that deserves reverence and timing and safety. But if you feel the Spirit stirring something in you—curiosity, longing, maybe even courage — know that we’re ready to walk with you. Whether you’re still in the closet, halfway through the door, or stepping boldly into the light, we desire All R Called to be a place where you feel safe, valued, loved and cared for – a home among spiritual brothers and sisters.

There’s space here for your questions, your doubts, your deepest hopes. And there’s a Savior who sees it all and loves you completely — not in spite of who you are, but because of it.

You are called.

You are loved.

You are free.

May you feel at home.