Is There a Place for Me in the Church? A Gay Christian’s Question

Author: ettie.v

Author Location: Germiston, South Africa

The Question That Lingers in Our Hearts

I am still struggling with this question: Is there a place for me in the Church?

Not just in His kingdom—though that is a question that I had to wrestle with too—but in the building down the street with the cross on the steeple, in the community that gathered every Sunday with raised hands and harmonies. In the Church, capital C. The one that says it follows Jesus. The one I was raised in. The one I truly love.

When “All Are Welcome” Doesn’t Feel Like It

It’s not a hypothetical question for many of us who are LGBTQ and Christian. It’s a real, heart-wrenching reckoning. Because while the Church has long declared that all are welcome, those words sometimes feel very hollow. They echo through stained glass windows but don’t always find their way into pews and pulpits.

For a long time, I tried to silence this part of myself — the part that made people shift in their seats, the part that caused whispers behind closed doors. I thought if I prayed hard enough, fasted long enough, served faithfully enough, maybe God would “fix” me. Maybe then I could be like the rest of the Church and would finally truly feel like I belong. But after years and years of hoping, praying, fasting – and begging God, I realized that it was not God’s plan to “fix” me, certainly not in the way I hoped.

A God Who Never Let Go

I am gay and God is not going to change this – does this mean there is no place for me in His community – among His people?

As I wrestled with this question and sought to hear the voice of Jesus, rather than the voice of fear, I realized something holy: I was never outside of God’s love to begin with. The problem wasn’t who I was—it was how people had misunderstood both me and the heart of God.

Jesus never withheld belonging from the marginalized. In fact, He went out of His way to make room for them at the table. He chose fishermen and tax collectors, women and foreigners, lepers and sinners. The people no one else saw, He called them by name. And He still does.

If You’re Still Wondering

So if you’re sitting with that question — Is there a place for me in the Church? — let me speak directly to your heart:

Yes. There is a place for you.

Not just a place in the shadows, serving quietly and never bringing your full self. Not just a seat at the table with strings attached. But a full, beautiful place—because you are made in God’s image, and the body of Christ is incomplete without you.

There Is a Place for You

And if the church you’re in or attended says otherwise, that’s not the final word. God has more for you. There are communities—ours included—who affirm your worth, your faith, and your identity. Churches that won’t ask you to choose between Jesus and your identity. Spaces where love isn’t conditional. Where Scripture is read with eyes of grace. Where you don’t have to shrink or hide.

You were never meant to walk this journey alone.

There is a place for you in the Church. Not because you’ve earned it or hidden who you are, but because Jesus made a place for you. And He never uninvites the people He calls.

You are seen. You are known. You are called.